Why do my kids fight so much?

Why do my kids fight so much?

As a parent, it's not uncommon to hear the sound of your kids bickering and fighting on a daily basis. Sibling rivalry is a common occurrence in families with more than one, but it can be frustrating for parents to constantly deal with. So, why do kids fight so much?

Jealousy and Competition

One of the main reasons why siblings fight is jealousy and competition. Children often feel like they are in competition with their siblings for their parents' attention and affection. This can lead to arguments over toys, clothes, and even who gets to sit in the front seat of the car.

siblings playing

Age Differences

Another factor that can contribute to sibling rivalry is age differences. When one child is significantly older or younger than the other, it can be difficult for them to find common ground and relate to each other. This can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration, which can manifest in arguments and fights.

Similarly, children who are very close in age (or multiple births) can compete for attention if they feel it is being divided, not multiplied.

Personality Clashes

Just like adults, children have different personalities and temperaments. Some kids are naturally more laid-back and easy-going, while others are more high-strung and prone to outbursts. When siblings have personality clashes, it can lead to tension and conflict.

siblings fighting

How to Reduce Sibling Rivalry

While some sibling rivalry is normal, there are steps you can take to reduce the frequency and intensity of fights between your kids.

Set Clear Boundaries

Make sure your kids know what is and isn't acceptable behavior when it comes to fighting. Set clear boundaries and consequences for breaking those boundaries, and make sure to enforce them consistently.

family rules

Encourage Positive Interactions

Encourage your kids to spend time together doing activities they both enjoy. This can help them build positive memories and associations with each other, which can reduce the likelihood of fighting.

Model Good Behavior

As a parent, you are your child's biggest role model. Make sure you model good behavior and conflict resolution skills in your own interactions with others.

family time


Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up, but it can be frustrating for parents to deal with. By understanding the root causes of fighting between siblings and taking steps to reduce it, you can create a more peaceful and harmonious home environment.


 Top photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

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